I didn't really have a particular title for this entry so the date will have to do..

It's late in the afternoon and I know I should be getting dressed but I'm just too lazy to do it.

I spent a few hours organizing the songs and pictures on my iTunes and now I just want to rearrange everything again.

Okay fine I'll get dressed.

I'm restless.

I'm at home. I was supposed to be on sick leave but I ended up kind of working from home anyway. There was a 4 hour conference call that I took on my cellphone and I can't help but think about the charges that the office will have to pay for at the end of the month when the bills come in. Nonetheless it was an interesting call and I for one enjoyed it because of the good news it brought.

I'm still restless though and I don't know why.

I've updated both my Friendster accounts, played around a bit with a picture in Photoshop, read a few blogs on the internet and now I find myself updating even mine.

Yesterday afternoon, I decided to laze around in my parent's bedroom with Gavin. We were watching Sinbad and Shrek 2. Well we were trying to watch anyway. Suddenly, I thought about my life during the past 3 years and I couldn't help but think about the what if's and the could have's. Funny how decisions sometimes shape life in the most unimaginable way.

To this day, I know I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have regrets and resentments. I think that everyone more or less does, despite what they think or believe their level of understanding and acceptance of any given situation is. I do have regrets and I do have resentments. It's not something that hinders me from living life though, I have moved on, and I relish my life because of the lessons I've learned from my mistakes.

Sometimes, I just wish that things were better.. don't we all wish for that?

Tomorrow will be better. It always is anyway.

More or less anyway.

This weather is just making me think about a whole lot of things. Rather that list and then explain each thought though, I decided to just list them down as they are.

1) It's funny to me how some people think they can find meaning and comprehension to life through the internet.

2) I love the cool wind that the rains bring but I hate it when you have to go out and walk and your toes get wet.

3) Damn, I need to save more money for Gavin.

4) Life is funny. You think you got one thing down right and then BAM, apparently you don't.

5) I feel bad.. I missed the 1st birthday party of the son of one of my best friends. Gavin was sick so we couldn't go.

6) Mother's Day was yesterday and it's the second Mother's Day where I felt alone yet again. (But I know I shoudln't)

7) People are just weird sometimes, they're never content with what they have and they always want what they can't have. And when they have it though, they want something else.

8) Duh

9) I so hate my work schedule. I want to go back to the morning shift.

10) I find it pathetic how some women claim to have weathered the worst-ass storms in their life and somehow come out of them stronger.. but then when a guy leaves they manage to make up this stupid ass story in order to keep the guy.

11) I wanted to start my very own bag business sometime in 1999 but was too lazy to do it, now I see all these small bag businesses springing up and doing well and it just pissess me off because had I been more aggressive, I would have achieved even more than them.

12) I hate guys who can't commit. They set your expectations (whether said or unsaid) and then BAM, they don't follow through.

13) My bed sheets are nice and cool and I can't wait to jump back in them.

14) I'm worried about Gavin's fever.

15) I want to marry a good guy.. Smart, Stable, Funny, God-fearing, Family-oriented, and who will more or less like the things I want to do, and more importantly put my son in his priority list.

16) I want to buy the new N91.

17) I need to lose 15 lbs.

18) I think superficiality is amusing and also something you can't run away from sometimes.

19) I hate people who say bad things about you. If they can't tell it to you to your face then there's something seriosuly wrong with their character.

20) If you can't look me in the eye, and if you try to avoid my eyes then that tells me something about you.

21) There are people with no breeding everywhere.

22) I love this Monday.

23) I hate the DVD player I have now.

24) I think my family is my heaven.

25) Generally, I think I'm okay.

I love this weather! Manila is wet and windy. I absoulutely love it...

Yesterday was Mother's Day and although it was somewhat wet, it was "okay." My family and I had gone off for a weekend getaway at this resort in Laguna despite the heavy rains. Furthermore, my son had a slight fever 2 days before that. I thought we wouldn't push through with it but we apparently did. It was okay I guess. We enjoyed. I got to spend enough time with my Gavin and the rest of my family so yeah, it was okay. My Mother's Day could have been better I guess but then again, I'm happy with what I got.

Today is the start of a new working week and I have a lot of things that I have to do. My schedule has been somewhat tight the past 3-4 weeks, what with me shuttling back and forth in between 2 sites and staying long hours at the office. This week is no different I guess. I have a bunch of classes scheduled and I have a lot of pending emails to reply to.

I get guilty sometimes when I overstay at the office. One part of me knows that I have to get my ass back home to my son, and another part of me says that I have still a bit more work to do. What really gets to me is the fact that sometimes, I do enjoy working.

Guilt is killing me I swear!

WAAAHHH

(*I understand that this entry may not have made a lot of sense to whoever's reading this, for those of you who really know me though... it would have made perfect sense.)

Gavin and I went to my niece Katie's 1st birthday party last Saturday. It was quite a grand Winnie the Pooh event. Her parents (my 1st cousins) went all out by having, along with a really funny kiddie party host, a bubble show, lots of decorations, cool give-aways, and excellent catered food. It was fun. Gavin and I participated in the "baby games" so he could get a prize. I could tell Gavs enjoyed because there were a lot of ballooons ("banoon") and he likes those. We in fact had to endure a couple of balloons pooping up in the car because we had to take some home. Generally, it was a pretty fun party.

Now it's my turn to plan for Gavin's party for July. Last year I was so busy that all we had time to do was treat everyone out at Gloria Maris at Greenhills. I actually had 2 treat outs. One was at Gloria Maris for the family, and the 2nd one was at Chili's Greenhills for my friends. It really wasn't a party but we had fun anyways.

This year I want a party. And I want a cool one. I won't get kiddie hosts and all that because Gavin won't really appreciate it yet but I swear that it'll be a cool party for both Gavin and my guests. I'll update as soon as I have the details.

Oh I am so excited!

I'm the type of person who mostly just shuts up when faced with unfavorable situations. "Mostly" being the operative word. There have been those times though where I would say something back. It depends on the situation. But mostly I just keep to myself. I write this now with mixed feelings due to garbled jumbled thoughts.

There had been quite a number unfavorable situations lately. Most of it started from late last year and sadly, what I had thought would mellow down by this year apparently did not. I'd just take it one day at a time, often saying to myself the advice I would tell others who were down that, "It's going to be okay anyway, It always does." Well whoopee-friggin'-doo apparently it hasn't. It's gotten to that point where I get irritated by the mere thought, sight and sound. So irritated in fact that it would sometimes consume my entire day. It's both sad and annoying and those are 2 emotions that do not mix well at all!

I will not detail it here because just thinking about it pissess me off already and I cannot endure rereading it because it will irritate me to the core. I will do something about this though and I will have my way. Why? Because it's reasonable, attainable, and more importantly it's fair..

Damn it.

I so cannot wait to view these films! Summer films are the ultimate best!

1) Mission Impossible 3
2) Da Vinci Code
3) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
4) Superman Returns
5) Bond 21 / Casino Royale
6) Spider Man 3

Can't tell I love action films huh? Hehehe.. I do though, I really do.

Summer films totally rock man!