I'd like to think that I'm a fairly reasonable AND congenial person. There are small things that will annoy me, yes... but bitch fests and overanalysis will usually pacify me within the hour. Very rarely have I gotten really angry in my life, and I'd like it to stay that way.

That's because it consumes me, and the wave of regret that hits me after is just excuciatingly painful.

I know I'm really angry when my heart starts to beat faster than normal, my face gets flushed, my forehead gets hot, and I end up doing/writing/saying things that I would not normally do/write/say if I were in the right frame of mind.

I literally see red, and I just.. not even snap, I implode.

I have a HUGE tolerance for controversy, incompetence, pettiness and offensiveness.

But I still do have that limit, and that line should not be crossed.

Ever.

This is actually supposed to be a serious post, but all the subject titles I was toying in my head, that were even remotely related to this topic, reminded me of either really pathetic sappy chick flicks and, um.. suicide.

Hence, my title above..

I find it a bit perplexing (confusing + astounded would be the better term) how a lot of people (surprisingly not just some) will continue to hang on to their past loves for dear life eventhough it's over, and eventhough they've been hurt so bad (READ: scarred for life).

Why? Is it because of the established comfort zone, the familiarity of it all, the mere fact that we're just used to having that person around to have and to hold, the physicalness that we've been accustomed to (READ: i know what you did last weekend), and the pretense we believe (to death) that the other person knows us so well that they can actually read our minds?

Although I admit it's really nice to have someone we love tell us that we complete them, do we really need other people to complete us? Does that mean that we were inefficiently incomplete to begin with? How can you give someone your all so to speak when you're "incomplete"? Don't you have to know who you are 1st, know what you need and want, and what you expect from that other person, AND from life, before you even take that big step of making that decision to actually be with someone? Aren't you supposed to love yourself first before loving someone else?

Completion and happiness come from within, not from another person. Well in my book anyway...

For me it's simple. you choose to even make that choice, and you make it work no matter what. Isn't that what the foundation should be anyway?

Sigh.. why can't we all just get along?

Ugh.

Conscious reasoning, as defined in the Heidi Book, would be the act of understanding anything, and everything possible by means of clear cut, simple and straightforward reasons that help us smart ass humans come to consolidated conclusions about, um, life. Intuition on the other hand, as defined in the Heidi Book, is the act of understanding anything at all without the need of clear, simple, straightforward and unecessary IN YOUR FACE reasons.

I am lucky that my intuition is alarmingly strong. Some people on the other hand though, are just plain clueless.

Some people just don't get it.

It's an offense I think called stupidity.

Duh.

Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived in a black and white palace within a massive concrete jungle. She was happy within the confines of her solitude, amid all the comforts that her parents, the king and queen of hearts, could possibly bestow upon her. They loved her like she was the world, and would almost always grant her whatever she wanted. She was pampered beyond all extent, and thus knew little of discomfort and sorrow. Because she was well taken care of, and was waited on 24/7, she would never even dream of walking outside the palace gates on her own for fear of the world outside it. She was perfectly happy where she was.

As time passed, she grew bored of her worldly possesions and wished to explore outside the gates. The king and queen of hearts, fearing for her safety should she saunter out on her own, would then take her with them to far away lands whenever royal matters needed to be discussed with the foreign beasts who ruled the concrete jungles of the world. She would travel far and wide, experiencing each different culture, basking in each culture's beauty and grandeur, but at the same time remaining safe and happy by the king and queen's side. Each journey would leave her yearning for more, and she found herself walking by the palace gates everyday wishing she could be free on her own to wander the city streets and beyond.

After a few years, the king and queen of hearts, sensing their princess' restlesness, finally allowed her out on her own to explore the world, believing and trusting that she would be safe from harm. The princess loved this new freedom! She was able to meet all sorts of people from all walks of life, and thus learned and absorbed a lot about their lives during her journey. She was surprised that they were so different from her, and she loved that about them. She experienced discomfort and sorrw while outside the gates, and this humbled her. Soon her hands were a little less soft, and her feet a little more scratched. Despite this though, she continued with her journey, getting more bruised and scratched along the way. The princess would always get up from each stumble though, and would always walk away with her head held high after each fall, never regretting ever leaving the palace once, and never looking back even once.

It's been a few years and the princess has now grown up. Although tired of the journey, she continues to exlplore, now wanting and waiting to build a palace of her own somewhere amidst the concrete jungles of the world. The princess knows that she can always go back and have her black and white palace, where she well be well taken care of, and where she will always be happy.

She is unsure of the world outside the palace gates, unsure of what is to become of her fate, but she chooses to stay out anyway.. Knowing fully well that she will stumble and fall, and will encounter monstrous beasts that will hurt her.. and she gladly embraces that because she knows that she will always get up, and will always have her head up high no matter what.