No doubt about it, 2008 has been one of the most trying, but I guess also one of the most rewarding years for me. Both personally and professionally, this year has been the best in some aspects, as well as the absolute worst in others. I've gained some, but definetely lost some in the process.

Today, the last day of the year, I look forward to a much better year, and I can only hope and pray that it does in fact get better. (Please please please..)

Below is my usual end of year questionnaire that I got from one of my friends. Unlike last year though, this year I made a mental note to actually fill it out before the year ended, and to not fill it out during the first few days of the new year. So here goes..

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?

- I attended my 1st Parent - Teacher meeting, and I played the parent this time around.

- I got on a plane and sat patiently in it (in cattle class) for over 30 hours to visit someone.. twice. I've also had to sit (impatiently this time) in US airports for over 7 hours to get to connecting flights.. twice.

- Did ACL in September.

2. Did you keep your 2008 new years' resolutions, and will you make more for 2009?
I don't even remember what my new year's resolution was this year, so no, I don't think I'll make more for next year. It makes no sense, it's usually the smoking, but I don't see myself quitting entirely. I'll cut down, but not quit.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not this year, no. But Jessie, Ice, and Abie got pregnant this year! We're expecting the babies in 2009.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, there were very close calls, but thankfully none.

5. What countries did you visit?
US (3 times this year), Singapore, Portugal, Spain, (then in terms of Airports) - Japan, Hong Kong, and Germany

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
More time for Gavin and more time for myself

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

So many things happened this year on multiple scales. I don't think I can narrow it down to just 1, so I'll just go with naming months that had significant events: April, July, September and December

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Gavin started school this year so I'm really happy and proud about that. - (personally)
I got promoted, I passed this huge exam in Singapore, and I traveled for work - (professionally)

9. What was your biggest failure?

Work-life balance

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I got sick while I was in the US in September, and I got food poisoning in November.

11. What is the best thing you bought this year?
Plane tickets

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Gavin - my little boy is all grown up now!

13. Whose behaviour appalled you, and made you depressed?
There are a few.. I'd rather not name names.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Gavin (tuition fees for school, and his usual stuff), Travel, and my Cellphone bill (it was catastrophic)

15 What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Gavin starting school in June, and my trip overseas in September

16. What movie will you remember in 2008?

"Wanted" and "The Dark Knight"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a. Happier or Sadder? Sadder
b. Thinner or Fatter? Fatter (the food in Europe had something to do with this of course)
c. Richer or Poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Actually make the time to be with Gavin and the rest of my family

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Get angry with incompetent people

20. How will you be welcoming the New Year?
Just like last year, I will not be with Gavin when I welcome in the new year. I'm still here in Europe (but I will be home in 2 weeks so I'll make up for it with my baby boy when I get home). Here in Portugal though, I'll be having dinner and drinks with some people at the hotel restaurant later on.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?

Yes, with Austin, Texas. I absolutely adore that place.

23. Did you break up with someone in 2008?
Yes.

24. What was your favourite TV program?
I watched less TV this year. I never had the time, or I was just too tired. I did like Cashmere Mafia and Gossip Girl though.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hmm not really, there are people that pissed me off more this year yes, but I don't think I can say that I hate anyone.

26. What was the best book you read?
The Twilight series (yes all right, I'm aware that some of you MAY gag at that)

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I went to ACL this year, so that in itself was a great big musical discovery, just the whole experience of it was awesome.

28. What did you want, and get?
More travel

29. What did you want, and NOT get?
Gavin for Christmas, New Year and my Birthday (in 2009), and more time to spend with my boyfriend

30. Favorite film of this year?
Wanted, and The Dark Knight

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was alone when I turned 27 this year (away from family, close friends and the boyfriend). I was in the US for work, in the freezing cold, and wallowing in my apartment. I had gone to work that day, and then just went back home after. That was about it.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
How do I even begin to answer this.. I don't know, aside from the usual "wish I had more money" "wish I lost more weight", etc., I guess the 1 thing would have to be not missing Gavin's very 1st Christmas Progaram at school.

33. Were you able to save more money this year?
Absolutely not.

34. What kept you sane?
Gavin and my boyfriend

35. What made you insane?

Work

36. Who is your real-person crush?
My boyfriend

37. What was the sweetest thing that someone did for you in 2008?

There are several actually:

1) Took care of me when I was almost passed out and dying of fever

2) Cooked me an extremely nice and hard to prepare meal

3) Surprised me by getting on a plane to see me and spend time with me

38. Who did you miss the most?
Gavin, my parents, and my boyfriend

38. Who was the best new person you met?
My son.. each year he grows he becomes a different person

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
I'm getting old.. My son is growing up. And everything you need to do as a parent kind of just falls into place after you realize that.

40. Where do you want to be this time next year?

With Gavin and my boyfriend.


LASTLY..
1) GOALS/DREAMS FOR THE NEW YEAR:
Work-Life balance, NOT work-life integration

2) PREDICTIONS FOR THE NEXT YEAR ON:
A. LOVE –
Decisions will need to be made.
B. CAREER -
Decisions will need to be made.

C. LIFE -

Huge decisions will definitely need to be made.

I needed to laugh this Christmas day, and this pretty much did it.

This year will be my third Christmas away from home, and away from Gavin. Back home, family and friends will undoubtedly be stuffing themselves full of food and intoxicating themselves silly with wine at around midnight of today. About an hour after midnight, my family will start to hand out presents and then proceed right after to rip through the wrapping paper to unearth what's inside. It's tradition in our family to be loud, messy and unconditionally happy during this season.

I've always loved Christmas. To this day, I still consider it my favorite holiday, even more than my birthday. Birthdays are normally selfish and usually only last a day, whereas Christmas (well back home anyway) usually start a few weeks before December, and is shared by all. I love it with a passion. I always have, and I always will.

This year, my Christmas will be quiet, and just like last year, it will be spent with my mind and soul wishing I was with Gavin. Although I knew what I was getting into, and although I knew what I was in for when I had made the choice to spend this time of year working abroad, it suddenly dawned on me that, after the dust has settled, and after all the day's work is done, I realized that yeah, sigh.. I'm not home.

It gets to me when people complain about family get-togethers and how much of a pain it will be somehow. There are other people out there (not just me), who are away from friends and family, and who wish with all their hearts that they were around loved ones. 

There's really just so much to be thankful for. So eventhough I will be alone and working on Christmas day, I am still thankful for what I have.

Merry Christmas everyone..

Love,

Heidi

Today, this day in December, I realized that:

1) I really miss Gavin, and I'm  truly crushed that I won't be with him again this Christmas.

2) No matter how much I tell myself that I'll make up for it by spoiling him crazy (half serious), and by spending more time with him, the fact that I've missed 3 Christmases already out of his 4 years of existence will tell him something someday, and he will question me for that.

3) Although I'm surrounded by Christmas decor, Christmas carols, and tales of what people will do this Christmas, I sadly, don't feel Christmas at all. I didn't feel like shopping at all today while I was in Spain, I just wasn't in the mood I guess.

4) Time passes by so quickly.

Gostaria apenas se voce jogou justo. Mas simplesmente nao jogar limpo em tudo.

(Okay that's about as much Portuguese I can muster as of this point.)

I love the sound of spoken Portuguese. It's warm, not as soft as Spanish, French or Filipino, but whimsical enough to make you turn your head and listen closely.

I'm picking up some words while I'm here, but hardly anything that I could even converse with. It's been great being here and working with them. They're very laid back, and pleasant to be around.

Sigh, so going back to my 1st sentence above.. it's me venting (in my own little space) about this person who makes it a life goal to make life difficult for me. If that person was a little bit more pleasant, I would be a little nicer, but since being snide apparently is the new polite nowadays..

It's so not even worth it.

I despise idiots who think that they can get away with (probably in some mad attempt to be righteous), and come up with moronic material like this. Clearly, someone out there in the world (Read: SOMEONE IN THE US)  has that much time to sit and photoshop a perfectly good picture of a baby, worked in with stupid words and quotes.

I'm not pro-choice, I never have been, and I never will be. This image above was created to obviously go against that concept, and go against the man who supports it. While I have no issues with people verbalizing how they feel about that, I have major issues with pictures of children being used in propaganda of any kind. The quote in itself is bad enough. Why make it worse by adding a picture of a baby?

It's just wrong. There are proper ways of advocating what you believe in.

This doesn't even advocate pro-life at all. If it was meant for that, which I highly doubt, it was a stupid, shallow and uneducated way of doing so. It reeks of scorn, sarcasm, bitterness and overall, immaturity. It's just an excuse to ridicule someone else.. And if this was someone's bright idea of being deep, tsk, then I guess that someone's not too bright (nor deep) at all.